What a difference a year can make

Teena M Wilkerson
Jun 4, 2022
3 min read

I'm writing this post exactly one week after May 28, 2022. It was my intent to write it sooner, but you know, #life. BUT before we (I) talk about May 28, 2022, let's rewind briefly and visit May 28, 2021.

If you've been following my journey, you know I was pregnant last year (2021) and it was a very complicated pregnancy. Bleeding, multiple OB visits, a hospital visit and unrelenting nausea and vomiting, even with prescribed medication. To say the least, it was super tough.

It was on May 28, 2021 that I remember laying on the "bed" as the Sonographer said to me, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to confirm what your OB already told you". What my OB had told me the day prior was, "I'm so sorry Teena. There is no longer a heartbeat". Alone (due to the pandemic restrictions), I sat up on the "bed" in the examination room in silence. I didn't cry or speak. The Sonographer asked if I was okay and I nodded my head yes. She gave me what would be the last two ultrasound pictures of my fetus and asked me to go wait in the waiting area until the Doctor had a chance to look at her examination pictures. I did as she asked and waited in the waiting room with a mother and daughter pair. I remember thinking, "This is so freaking weird. I just received this devastating news and here I am sitting with another family and trying to keep myself together". It's true. You never really know what someone is going through. They had no clue of the news I just received.

Before driving off in my car, I texted a few friends and family and told them the news. The baby no longer had a heartbeat. To some, I said I did not want to talk about it and that I would let them know when I was ready. I guess I took way too long to tell one friend in particular that I was ready to discuss what happened so she decided to call me a few months later anyway. But going back to the morning of May 28, 2021, after hearing the news, I went back home and got in the bed. Unfortunately, although I had a miscarriage, I continued to have the "products of conceptions" inside my body. It would be a week later, June 4, 2021 that I would have a D&C. It just so happens to be June 4, 2022 today as I write this post. Boy what a difference a year can make.

May 28, 2022 was the complete opposite of its prior year. This year, I began my day doing something I absolutely LOVE with some of my favorite peeps. I ran a 5k in Newport News, VA at 25 weeks pregnant! Yeap, PREGNANT!!!!!! I was surrounded by family and instead of being a day of mourning it was a day of celebration. Although, I have to admit, I was very emotional leading up to this day. It's like my body still knew there was grief/pain and it tried to freely express/release it in every way. But again, I had fun. The weather was beautiful and it felt right to be doing something that gave me life, with my baby boy on board. God is truly faithful.

So what now? I've decided last weeks 5k was going to be my last official organized race for this pregnancy, but considered celebrating a new week in pregnancy every Saturday by running/walking my own 5k. However, earlier this week I've started to experience pain with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) or at least that's what I think it is. I'll get it checked out next week. AnyWHO, if you don't know, SPD can by severely painful and it's been difficult for me to walk, at times, over the past 2 days. So my idea of running a 5k every week until I couldn't has come a lot sooner than imagined and I'm okay with that. I'm so grateful for my body and allowing me to move/run as long as it has this pregnancy. I'm forever grateful to God that this May 28 and June 4 were so much better than last year.

To those who may be going through a hard time, please know trouble don't last always.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful". -Hebrews 10:23